What's the weirdest thing you've found in a car?

"HiredHand" (ghubacek) 02/13/2014 at 21:18 • Filed to: None

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I was working on a car today and noticed an odd smell after getting in it. I glanced in the back seat and noticed a paper grocery bag (yes, the large ones) about half full of something that smells like a skunk and rhymes with tweed.

Other notable weird shit I've found in people's cars:

Naked pictures of what I can only assume to be their significant others (maybe not).

Sexual "toys"

Drugs of various types

Approximately 22 umbrellas. In one car. Not even the same kind. 20-some different umbrellas.

A sandwich. Not a sandwich in a baggie or wrapped up or anything, just a sandwich by itself sitting on the seat. I guess he was going to get to it later.

Please note, I would never snoop through a person's car, these were all objects that were in plain sight or were in the trunk if I had to fix a taillight or something like that.

Victorious Secret > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:20

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Apple pie.

I was very tempted to eat it.

HiredHand > Victorious Secret 02/13/2014 at 21:23

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Like a whole pie? Or a Mcdonalds or fruity pie pastry type?

Nick, Drives a Cobalt LT > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:24

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I wish I could remember half the shit I have seen in cars...

One had a Cow Boy hat, a GIANT bottle of Vodka and Rope.....

I've found batons under seats, rifles, pistols.

"toys" that one would insert into themself or a partner.

Trash.

I'll keep notes from now on wirh what I find.....

Sn210 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:27

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Blue, custom-made condoms.

PRBot II > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:28

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A large paper bag, and it was half full?

Damn, that's a lot!

Lets Just Drive > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:28

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I was the one who found out Princess Diana had dandruff when I found her Head And Shoulders in the glove box.

Too soon?

Victorious Secret > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:28

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Whole pie. Fancy box. The whole 9 yards. Let me paint the picture.

945AM. I get into the car for a test drive with my overly caffeinated coffee. I am starving, but I figure I can hold out till lunch.

I see this box of pie. My stomach growls. A deep, guttural, primal growl. The growl a man makes. Manly growl. Substantial. It has bass. It wants to eat. Its hungry.

I had to avoid staring the pie down and eating it. There weren't any plates or forks. I didn't care. I just needed it.

HiredHand > Sn210 02/13/2014 at 21:29

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Custom-made? Damn. Was it this guy?

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comment…

Warning, NSFW

iDriveCode3 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:29

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As someone who regularly searches cars for a living, I've pretty much seen it all; guns, drugs, nekkid photos, recently used dildos of the rectal variety. We had one guy who had so much crap in his car... mostly old newspapers.. the only open space was for his body in the driver's seat. Car was jam packed. Weirdest thing was outside the car; Gatorade bottles containing his urine lashed to the sides of the car like missiles slung under fighter jet's wing. Needless to say, this gentlemen was both homeless and mentally ill.

HiredHand > PRBot II 02/13/2014 at 21:30

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Yeah, it was a lot. It smelled quite a bit in there. Definitely not professional grade though.

M54B30 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:31

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I as working on an Oldsmobile Alero one time and found the grossest thing ever. This was a cool Alero, some kind of designer edition with half black and half red leather seats, but the name slips me. Anyways we are looking around and maggots start coming out from under the carpet and from inside the headrest and seats. There were hundreds. We closed it up, wrote not he service report that all work was declined because "full of nasty maggots everywhere" and pushed it back out the garage. Nobody would get in and drive it so we pushed it 5 feet out the garage and there it sat until the owner drove away. Dis-Gus-ting.

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:32

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A collection of an assortment of coins (pennies, nickels, dimes) stuck together by skittles.

HiredHand > M54B30 02/13/2014 at 21:33

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wow.

The Compromiser > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:34

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Worked at a dealership as a detailer. Found a stubby in a trade in from the year it was built and sold. Don't know if it was a lost soldier or a prank from the assembly plant.

My buddy got one better though. Was cleaning a cruiser that had repeatedly been in for clunking noises when they turned left ( or right. It was a long time ago). Techs had checked the steering and replaced most of it. The suspension had been checked and replaced. Nothing could get rid of the clunk. He was vaccuming the vinyl floor and when he went under the seat with the hose he heard a clunk and met resistance. He reached under the seat and pulled out a third full forty of whiskey.

And the clunk was mysteriously gone after that day...

HiredHand > Victorious Secret 02/13/2014 at 21:34

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Kudos on your will power. I could imagine the customer coming back later.

"Pie? Nah, didn't see a pie. GUYS, anyone see a pie? No? Sorry lady, no pie."

Wipes crumbs off of shirt.

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:35

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You have car stories, I have house stories. The only thing I can think of I haven't found is Mary Jane growing on the premises. Pretty much everything else, I've seen.

S&M "chamber" in a 70ish year old Russians bedroom, check.

A shrine to Hitler/Nazi's, yep.

Various Hoarder/Path houses. Several of those (yuck).

Really nice homes with garage-mahals? Oh Yeah.

Shitty dumps with garage-mahals? Surprisingly, yes.

Lesbian couple with female porn EVERYWHERE? Yeah, that was awkward.

After 15 years of property appraising, I've seen some pretty weird shit.

Sn210 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:36

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"He's ambidickstrous."
Lol what the fuck did I just read??!

The pack said "custom made for ...guys name... in Las Vegas". It was years ago

HiredHand > Sn210 02/13/2014 at 21:37

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If I were going custom, I'd probably pick something other than blue, but hey.

911e46z06 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:38

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When I bought my M3, and I was detailing the shit out of it for the first time, I extended the little support on the front of the seat and found a buncha white powder in the crack. Now, sure, it was probably talcum powder or flour or something, but we all know how M3 drivers are, so who knows?

Sn210 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:40

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They matched the Jeep!

Sn210 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:40

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They matched the Jeep! Just realized that

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > iDriveCode3 02/13/2014 at 21:41

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cop?

Sn210 > M54B30 02/13/2014 at 21:43

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Wow.

PRBot II > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 21:44

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I had a feeling it would be some low quality stuff. The only time I've ever seen it stored in a paper bag was on That 70's Show.

iDriveCode3 > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits 02/13/2014 at 21:47

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Yessir. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.

HiredHand > PRBot II 02/13/2014 at 21:52

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My initial thought was who forgets the grocery bag full of pot in the back seat?

Then I realized that question answers itself.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > iDriveCode3 02/13/2014 at 22:10

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If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 22:43

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A bunch of crusty- lookin' PlayBoys.

THOMAS5 > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 23:03

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Gasoline soaked boxers.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 23:05

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Bad Idea Hat > HiredHand 02/13/2014 at 23:42

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Me.

Mrfist9 > HiredHand 02/14/2014 at 00:27

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In my car, surprisingly nothing, I expected muchhhhh worse. My buddies car however, we found a small cube of tin foil, with nothing in it. In the back we found a Claymore detonator, believe me we backed up wayssssss away before I clicked it.

JEM > HiredHand 02/14/2014 at 10:41

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A single, un-spent, bullet lost in the folds/crack of the rear seat of my dad's '79 Lincoln Continental when he bought it in the mid 80s.

The car already looked like something a gangster/drug runner/mob member would drive.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > HiredHand 02/14/2014 at 14:36

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A BMW key in the dash of a '78 GMC pickup my family bought in '86. I found it in '96.

JoelA237 > HiredHand 02/16/2014 at 13:49

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I have found a crack pipe, the skeleton of a mouse, 300 dollars shoved in a tape player, bag of weed, a picture of when the car was first bought new in my old 93 trans am, Nothing super awesome, but some interesting stuff.

UltravioletThunder > HiredHand 02/16/2014 at 19:16

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A human molar with a cavity. Must have been extracted by a dentist. Who takes their old teeth home?
My wife once lost 50 live crickets in our '85 Golf. They wandered off and distributed themselves throughout the interior. For several weeks thereafter when the car warmed up a few of them would commence chirping.
I once found a dirty breakfast plate in the rear footwell of a rental. Actually that was 6 weeks ago. I gave National hell for that.

IDRIVENEON > HiredHand 02/17/2014 at 08:41

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I buy cars fairly often. I found receipts dating back to 1990 in a kcar I had. Business cards. The weirdest thing was about $5 all in pennies in a 95 neon I bought. Along with the girls old school ID and atm cards from 03 (it was 09 when I bought the car)